We can be so cruel sometimes....

​We can be so cruel sometimes....
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This months' introspection and life lesson called for sitting with, how cruel we can be in our reactivity with what we don't understand.
I experienced this first hand whilst visiting my home country with my "neuro diverse" 5 year old son. whilst this was extremely hurtful being on the receiving end of judgement as a caretaker, it allowed me to view how I judge myself in these challenging situations as well as how I perceive others "judgement". 
I also reflected on how we react to what we don't understand and how it may trigger past traumas within ourselves.
In order to SOAR in Motherhood or as the mother archetype / caretaker of another, especially those with special needs such as my son with PANDAS, it is all about the type of questions you are asking to attain perspective.

Questions I explored for a deeper perspective with regard to this experience with my son were:

• What if the problem is with us/me not him?
• What if our ways of being and seeing the world is not how he perceive it?
• What if many unassuming situations can be extremely triggering and scary for him leading him to react in anger and aggression to protect himself? 
• What if the old ways of discipline, conformity and domination just fuels the situation?

How can it be different if we just observe, let go of what we need to see happen and of the expectation of traditional obedience?
What if we are fascinated and open to even learn and grow ourselves? View his reaction as a reflection as to how he perceives us and the situation.

I realized how I feel scared, judged and ridiculed, left out just like him sometimes. I can relate although I don’t have his neurological diverse and impulsive challenges. My experience is more as a depleted, sometimes defeated care giver, who feels judged.

Do I lose my « shit » sometimes?.. hell yes! I get pushed to the maxed daily. Especially with the sibling dynamic. I’ve exhausted ample resources, treatments and therapies. That is indeed my scope as a clinician to find a solution.

A mother and her child has a special connection, intuition always surpassed any methodology or criticism out there.
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Something has shifted in him at age 5 whilst in South Africa. There are more marked differences. His frustrations and reactivity has reached a new level of consequences especially in what society expects.

Then on the flight back from South Africa, I watched Temple Grandin. It validated what I suspects is coming more into form within my son, similar challenges and processes and how challenging it can be on the loved ones that interacts with him on a daily basis.
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I highly recommend watching this movie to allow a basic understanding for those individuals that perceives the world in a different way and hold more empathy for a caretaker. 

Be inspired by Temple Grandin's Ted talk about how her mind works and others like her -- sharing her ability to "think in pictures," which helps her solve problems that neurotypical brains might miss. She makes the case that the world needs people on the autism spectrum: visual thinkers, pattern thinkers, verbal thinkers, and all kinds of smart geeky kids.